Reframing the Midlife Experience as an opportunity to reconnect with purpose, passion and joy
By Susie Hall, The Sassy Godmother, www.thesassygodmother.com
https://www.instagram.com/sassygodmother/
Sassy Godmother’s Pearls of Wisdom: 50 inspiring ways to navigate your life is due for release in February 2026: https://mybook.to/SassyGodmother
Out with the Old Narrative
The phrase ‘midlife crisis’ has long been used to describe a period of turmoil, regret, and upheaval; typically experienced in our forties or fifties.
Well, I invite you to chuck that idea right out of the window now!
Yes, you may have parents who need a watchful eye, and your kids – if you have them – might still be close, but this can also be a hugely transformational time for YOU.
The Power of Shedding
For those of us going through the myriad stages of menopause, there are interesting hormonal changes taking place which can actually be extremely empowering. I won’t negate the symptoms many of us experience because they’re a pain in the backside (who loves sleep deprivation, a hot flush and/or brain fog on a Monday morning?) but this time can be truly liberating.
Menopause represents a shedding, and with that, a lack of tolerance for anything that doesn’t serve us anymore. A few years ago, I was at a women’s conference and had a fascinating conversation with a specialist menstrual cycle therapist. She told me about the existence of this ferocious menopausal energy of letting go of old behaviours, patterns and people. It made me smile, as I had just decided to take a leap of faith and leave my marriage.
It is a thing. There’s a sense of clarity that comes from an emotional clear-out. A kind of ‘****-it’ attitude. If you don’t like what I’m saying/doing/me – then tough, because this is who I am. And anyway, aren’t you tired of people pleasing, perfectionism and comparing yourself to others? It’s all so bloody tiring as well as being pointless! There’s also a likelihood you’ll feel more comfortable with your authentic self, maybe even more so than at any other time in your life. And that’s powerful!
Shedding might look like:
- Saying no without guilt.
- Dropping perfectionism or comparison.
- Setting new personal boundaries.
- Walking away from situations or people that drain you.
Rediscovering YOU
Far from being a crisis, mid-life can pivot you into a complete re-birth. It heralds the start of YOU time. Time to discover and re-connect with who you are. Not wife, partner, mother, daughter, sister, but you.
Let me invite you to take a few minutes alone. Make yourself a cuppa and sit down with a pen and paper to answer these questions truthfully. Hand on heart:
“What isn’t serving me in my day-to-day anymore?”
“How do I really want to spend my time over the next year?”
“What brings me joy right now?”
See what you come up with.
Then try this: Write down three things you no longer want to do, and three things you’d love to do more of in the coming year. Then, for each one, note one small baby step you could take this week to make it happen.
It could be anything from “I’m done with cleaning the house, we can afford a cleaner” to reconnecting with interests, hobbies or people that got sidelined while you’re busy caring for everyone else. And sometimes when nests empty, it’s quite a common catalyst for couples to look at each other and question whether the person they’re left with has gone past their sell-by date.
You don’t have to do a full-on Shirley Valentine and escape to Greece in search of yourself, but you DO have a choice about how you decide to spend your time and who with. And it starts with bold baby steps towards the life that you want to live. You can get frustrated with what’s not working or you can give yourself the space and time to create a new version of your life, which is rooted in what you want, one day at a time.
And who knows? Maybe Greece is an appealing option. The weather’s very good at this time of year…
Three Pearls of Wisdom for a Midlife Reboot
- Stop saying YES when you mean NO
Constantly putting others ahead of yourself chips away at your self-worth and self-esteem. It’s damaging on so many levels and gives others the permission to take you for granted. It really doesn’t have to be this way. Practice out loud responding differently.
- Understand YOU are the architect of your life
You have the power to change more than you realise. Sometimes it just takes a courageous baby step and you’d be amazed what shows up. Start by deciding what it is you actually want and why.
- Re-connect with what brings you joy
This might sound obvious but when you’ve spent a long time looking after others, it can be easy to let the things you love fall by the wayside. What do you love doing? Where do you love going? Who do you love being with? What feeds your soul? Make it a priority to start re-connecting with the joy in your life.