Switching from a ‘To Do’ to a ‘To Be’ mindset is the key to helping retirees get the retirement ‘glow-up’ they deserve, says national friendly society the Oddfellows.
The not-for-profit says retirement should be a time to shake life up, not sit back, but far too many retirees get stuck in a retirement rut and miss out on the richer life they should be living.
Backed by ‘Doctor of Happiness’ Dr Andy Cope they’re encouraging retirees to give their retirement a ‘glow-up’ by focusing on living fully and authentically, prioritising who you want to be rather than ticking off a task list.
Dr Cope, who has spent two decades studying the science of positive psychology and human flourishing, said: “Retirement is the perfect opportunity to have a psychological spring clean, and to shift our mindset from ‘when’ to ‘now’.
“Too often, we spend our lives chasing goals, which means we can accidentally kick our happiness into the long grass. For example, you think you’ll be happy when your children are older, when you move to a bigger house, when you get a different job, etc. But being happy is about living with purpose and focusing on what truly matters to you, right here, right now.
“With retirement, you can fall into the trap of only creating ‘To Do’ lists and they are often quite mundane tasks, and they tend to run out once you’ve ticked off that holiday, or you’ve sorted out the house or garden. But if you make the switch to asking yourself what you want ‘To Be’ today, it’s incredibly powerful and rewarding.”
With the aid of Dr Cope, the Oddfellows hopes to make the creation of post-work ‘To Be’ lists the norm, so people can focus on experiences rather than actions for increased excitement and later life fulfilment.
Dr Cope, who is running a free online workshop on how to give your retirement a ‘glow-up’ in July, added: “Everyone’s ‘To Be’ list is different. Thinking about what kind of person you want to be gives you focus. For example, if you want to be a nice person, then you need to be kind, compassionate and present for those around you. If you want to be more adventurous, spend the day focusing on being curious and bold, and give new things a try.
“Thinking in this way shapes how you are going to react to the events of the day, gives you more resilience and brings more joy.”
The Oddfellows is one of the UK’s largest friendly societies. Its 96 branches across the UK host around 750 in-person and online events and group activities each month which offer opportunities for its near 40,000 members to focus on doing the things they enjoy, from social coffee mornings and talks, to day trips and holidays.
Brian Monks (pictured second from left), 73, from Ashton-in-Makerfield, Wigan, retired eight years ago and joined his local St Helens and Warrington Oddfellows friendship group last year. A shopkeeper of 25 years, he missed having regular chances to chat with people from all walks of life.
Brian said: “I didn’t miss the work one bit, but I missed the customers and the people I was working with. It was a local shop and you got to know everyone and their families. I’m a sociable person. I enjoy meeting people, talking to people and having a bit of fun.”
This need to stay socially connected to his community was the key reason he headed along to an Oddfellows event.
Brian added: “Now that I’m retired and have more free time I wanted to expand my circle of friends, enjoy a range of activities and be somewhere I could just be myself.
“When I went along to my first event, I was made so welcome and the group of people you meet are very mixed. For me, that’s interesting and rewarding. I’m so glad I joined as I thoroughly enjoy spending time with the group and have made many wonderful new friends. I’ve even started shadowing the committee to hopefully get more involved in the running of my Branch as a volunteer.”
Jane Nelson, the Oddfellows’ CEO, said: “Retirement isn’t just about finishing work. It’s your chance to re-invent, re-energise and start living life like you mean it. That means new friends, new adventures and a new perspective.
“Our local friendship groups are here to help you explore what’s possible in retirement – at your own pace and in your own way. You’ll find friendly faces, interesting events, chances to volunteer, and group holidays to look forward to. There’s also wellbeing advice and plenty of opportunities to feel more connected in your community.
“No matter what you need to help you flourish, the Oddfellows can help you glow in retirement.”
The Oddfellows, a not-for-profit and mutual, was established in 1810 to support workers and their families through difficult times. It continues to provide a community united by friendship, care and charitable support.
In addition to attending regular social events, members can access financial benefits and welfare support, with a dedicated care helpline and citizens advice team, and a travel club. Oddfellows membership costs from £25 a year.
You can find your nearest Oddfellows friendship group by visiting www.oddfellows.co.uk/retirement and search for social events and activities happening near to where you live. It also runs open days on Zoom and around 60 online events each month which are free to the public.
Join the Oddfellows for an inspiring free online event with Dr Cope on Tuesday 1 July at 7pm.
Open to anyone, Andy will share powerful insights on how to thrive in retirement by living with purpose and focusing on what truly matters. With his trademark blend of warmth, humour, and down-to-earth wisdom, this talk promises to leave you uplifted, motivated, and ready to embrace all the possibilities of this exciting chapter of life.
To receive a free Oddfellows information pack and events diary, call 0800 028 1810, email enquiries@oddfellows.co.uk or go to www.oddfellows.co.uk/retirement