How do you prefer your man? Black? Navy? Khaki? Military Green? Apricot? Skinny? Straight? Slim?
Not too tight? Not too loose? Or snug?
Turkish-English or American-Turkish?
And what stretch levels do you require from him?
Do you prefer him encased in Mercer soft twill or a Crosby? Light blue Bensons or black Woosters? Bone or gray?
Dry or wet finished?
Is elaborate embroidery and signature back pocket embellishments at all important in your eyes?
Or don’t you care as long as he has a lovely bottom?
And his jeans make the most of it.
Who can resist a pair of pert cheeks in a pair of Moon & Bows?
Do you really mind if a man employs anti-flat butt technology?
As long as it gives good buns definition.
At heart, everyone knows bottoms are the first things we look at. A backside is an index of desirability. A fit person must have a well-fitted ass and an elegantly presented tail. Glutes must be well-cupped and the fanny finely finished. Who is attracted to someone with a clearly chronic crotch rip issue?
Every man willingly objectifies himself every time he pulls on a pair of jeans. He knows his bum will be the cynsosure of all eyes, evaluating its sagginess, appraising its shapeliness and weighing its overall horniness. Bottoms make the first impression. Seats are seriously sensual things.
No butts about it.
But it’s not so easy for the ladies.
Whereas most men vainly think they give the likes of Daniel Radcliffe, Ronan Keating, Anton du Beke and Russell Grant a run for their booty in the backside department, women find it hard to compete against the likes of Felicity Kendall, Susy Quatro ( remember her?), Fiona Bruce and Ulrikka Jonsson- all winners of the very Un-Pc “Rear of The Year” award , sadly discontinued in 2021.
There comes a time when we all have to give up cigarettes.
And Boyfriends become a little limited.
And your “bumster” days” are behind you and you don’t want to reveal your midriff anymore.
Jeans, like all clothes, should transcend age barriers and contours. They should not be regarded as age-specific. Our bottom is a canvas on which we can paint marvellous pictures at any age. M&S teaches us that.
Marks & Spencer teaches us to disregard arbitrary conventions and age limits.
Fifty-plus jeans don’t have to be just “dark washes, like indigo and inky tones, with minimal distressing.” You should dress for your attitude, not your age. And show your bottom in its best light. Not shamefully keeping under wraps in complete darkness. Jeans are comfortable things. Why spurn them?
Age changes mindsets as well as body shapes.
But the need to look the most luxurious version of yourself never changes.
M&S has a great jeans collection which includes its own “Shaping Magic” range as well as labels like Sosandar, Albabay. Whistles, White Stuff, Baukejen, Seasalt Cornwall, Hush, Autograph, Nobody’s Child, Per Una and Live Unlimited London.
It specializes in kitting out the curvy – those of us who don’t like the words “Plus Size”- and boosting the morale or reinforcing the self-confidence of those of us who think we are too old for skinnies and too saggy for styraight Siennas. Think Mom jeans too tapering and too revealing. Think we can’t wear denim jeans any more ( especially bone, ivory and white ) and are scared of jeggings.
And don’t want to be mutton dressed as lamb.
Or pear dressed as hourglass!
Women like the flattering and forgiving. And elegant. And gorgeous.
The phenomenally successful female-led “real” womanswear “curve brand”, has proved that.
“Celebrating shape is the heart and soul of everything we do,” says CEO Tracy Egan.
“ Live Unlimited is a team totally committed to the specialism of curve,”“ It’s not what size you wear, it’s how you wear your size.The range takes into account how women’s bodies change throughout the size spectrum. From 12-28”
Size 17 is the new 34. We don’t all have to be overwhelmed in a huge pair of palazzos.
Designed and fitted in-house, the Live Unlimited London Look, with its florals and statement animal designs, encompasses “enhancing” occasionwear, “elevated workwear”, flowy and airy blouses, swing dresses, coats, jackets, modal hoodies, batwing sleeves, one-piece swimming costumes, beach cover-ups, tankinis, caftans, sarongs and kimonos. as well jeans from “lengthening, slimming blacks” to low-rise tummy controllers.
There is no reason whatsoever for not wearing Mom jeans. Or retiring from denim.
Whatever your age.
Jeggings can be “gracefully enhancing” especially ivory wash ones if cut from soft, stretchy denim with cropped leg shape with a split cuff, pull-on, elasticated waist and classic denim detailing.
Live Unlimited London and an active waist give you that aura.
Free your bottom. Let it do the talking. About living unlimitedly.
Put it on and pull it off!
You are as young as your jeans.